


The New Black Paladin

by Ways



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Humor, Oneshot, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 10:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11712852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ways/pseuds/Ways
Summary: After Shiro disappeared during the final battle with Zarkon, the paladins it down and have a discussion about who should replace him. And of course, shenanigans ensue as they tell outlandish stories of who should be the new paladin. Oneshot





	The New Black Paladin

 

Several days had passed and Shiro still had not returned. Things had gotten rather distressful in the Castle of Lions after the loss of the head Head of Voltron.

The six residents of the castle now sat in the dining hall of the castle, quietly eating food goop before Allura spoke up.

“Paladins. I know it’s been a rough few days… what with Sho’s-” She paused, not wanting to say the words on everyone’s mind before finding a somewhat reasonable substitute. “ _Disappearance._ But the war against the Galra Empire wages on. We need to think of who should replace him as the head of Voltron.”

“Well-” Keith started but was cut off by a grinning blue paladin.

“That’s easy, I should be the new head of Voltron.”

Keith scowled at him for cutting him off, but this went unnoticed by everyone as they stared at Lance who was pointing at himself, proudly beaming at the team.

There was a beat of silence at this before all of them burst out laughing.

Lance’s smile immediately deflated at this.

“Good one, Lance!” Hunk choked out between laughter.

But the frowning blue paladin sighed. “I was being serious…”

Pidge chuckled. “No offence Lance, but you’d be an awful leader.”

Lance frowned. “What? No! Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Pidge brought a hand to her chin in thought. “Well…”

**~The New Black Paladin~**

The five Lions floated in space growling as they faced the entire Galra fleet.

Coran was running to all kinds of different controls in the main room as he was prepping for battle. “We’re about to face the greatest battle we’ve ever had! Oh great leader of Voltron, what should we do?”

From within the black lion sat Lance, the new black paladin. He was lazily draped over the seat and sporting a pair of sunglasses.

He smirked and got up from his seat, somehow standing in the cockpit because the head of Voltron plays by no rules, including the laws of physics.

“We lead a full frontal assault on them, all Lions and the castle in battle. No Galra will be left standing except for that sexy stud of a red paladin over there. Now, CHARGE!”

And with that, the five lions and the castle surged towards the entire Galra fleet as they all let out ridiculous over the top anime yells.

That’s when the Galra empire fired all cannons on the very small numbers that were Voltron Force.

Just before the cannons hit, Lance let out a quick curse. “Oh… Quiznak.”

And with that, they were all blown to smithereens in a blazing glory.

**~The New Black Paladin~**

“What?!” Lance steamed. “That would not happen.”

“Yeah, it totally would.” Hunk said.

“Like you would make a better leader.” Lance smirked.

Hunk nodded. “Oh, I know I wouldn’t.”

“Bu-” Lance frowned. “Hey! You’re supposed to say that you would so I could do the whole vision thing for the fic.”

Hunk sighed, both at the sight of the shattered fourth wall and at his friend’s nonsense. “Fine… _Of course, I’d be a good leader, Lance. What are you talking about?”_

Lance raised an eyebrow at this. “Oh really…?”

**~The New Black Paladin~**

Coran once again stood in the Castle of Lions, the paladins all around him.

“Paladins, we’re under attack!” Coran cried out. “We need to take care of the situation posthaste”

Hunk smirked. “Alright, we got this. Everybody to your lions, when we get out we immediately form Voltron. I’ve got a plan.”

With that, they ran to their lions and formed Voltron.

“I’m finally a head!” Hunk exclaimed.

“Congratulations…” Keith deadpanned. “Now what’s your plan?”

Hunk grinned. “Okay, here’s the deal. There’s no way we can fight all these ships, even with Voltron.”

Pidge looked confusedly at him. “But Hunk there are only five of them…”

“Nope. No going up against them.” Hunk shook his head.

Lance rolled his eyes. “So… what do we do now _oh fearless leader?_ ”

“We use Voltron to push the Castle of Lions away from the battle with both our thrusters we should be able to get out no problem.”

“That’s a horrible plan!” They all shouted at him but there was no arguing.

They went to the back of the Castle of Lions and together, they made a strategic retreat.

Voltron soon went from being known as the legendary defender of the universe to the biggest coward across the stars. It was pathetic.

**~The New Black Paladin~**

Hunk rolled his eyes. “Come on, I wouldn’t be that bad of a black paladin. I’d fight the Galra and do it in style with delicious treats for everybody!”

“Yeah, but you’re never gonna be the black paladin.” Lance said.

Hunk shrugged. “Good. I don’t want to be.”

Pidge shook her head. “You two may not make for good black paladins, but I think that I’d be best suited for the job.”

“Eh… true.” Hunk admitted. “But there’s just one problem.”

“What’s that?”

**~The New Black Paladin~**

Voltron had been formed and was standing proud and tall against a Robeast which had been heavily wounded by the long battle they had had.

Pidge had been leading them better than they could’ve ever imagined and now it came for the finisher.

“Alright Pidge, it’s all you!” Lance cheered.

“Yeah, let’s finish off this robeast once and for all!” Hunk agreed.

Keith agreed.

Pidge grinned from her seat as her glasses did the little anime glasses shine in anticipation. “Alright guys, let’s do this!”

And with that, she pulled out the Black Bayard as she did an over the top anime gesture, lifting it high up in the air, having slow mo pauses for affect and everything, she even had the anime scream down.

And with that, she plunged it into the control panel.

At least she would’ve… but it fell short.

And it was at that moment that Pidge realized she could never pilot the black lion.

Her arms were too short to reach the controls!

The entire time, she had used the mental connection with the lion to operate the machine but never did she imagine that she would be far too short to actually use the console for the lion.

She tried to inch closer to the cannon, only to fall over in her chair.

And that was all the robeast needed to launch a giant blast and destroy Voltron.

**~The New Black Paladin~**

“Really? Come on, I’m not that short.”

Hunk held his hands up in defense. “I’m just saying…”

Coran then spoke up. “Well, if none of you can be the new black paladin, then perhaps I could…”

 ** _“NO!”_** Everyone shouted at him.

This saddened him, his moustache even drooped at this. “Well… it was just a suggestion…”

It was then when Keith spoke up. “It doesn’t matter, you’re all idiots, I’m piloting the black lion.”

“What?! Why you?!” Lance asked.

“Because Shiro told me to and we’re not going to spend all of our time trying to go through each and every one of those scenarios. We’ve got a war going on and we don’t have time for any of your nonsense.”

They glared at him for this, but Allura agreed. “Keith is right, we don’t have time for this. If Shiro really wanted him to pilot the black lion then we should respect his wishes.”

The other paladins begrudgingly agreed while Coran was still sad that he would never pilot a lion.

Maybe someday Coran…


End file.
